Tips for North Mississippi Brides
We have worked with over 200 brides in North Mississippi and thought that some of the ideas specific to wedding celebrations in North Mississippi might be helpful to you. Planning your wedding can be intimidating as you don’t get much of a practice run. We hope these tips will help you enjoy making the choices only you as the bride can make. First & Green Celebrations is a caterer and venue owner and operator eager to make your celebration extraordinary, full of fun and rich, long lasting memories.
North Mississippi Hospitality
Come one, come all, or y’all, as the case may be. We are proud of Mississippi’s heritage as the hospitality state, and love earning that designation over and over again. Mississippians carry warmth and kindness wherever they go, which makes this area a fabulous place to hold a wedding celebration.
Enjoy the Process
Remember, you are going through one of the most joyful periods of your life, and wedding related stress should not be allowed to interfere with that joy. Find professionals you trust, and allow them to do the worrying, while your role is to describe for them as clearly as possible the celebration you imagine.
Ask Friends and Family for Help – in Specific Roles
Though friends and family will have many opinions and ideas, hold on to your vision. While there are always exceptions, try not to allow volunteers to serve as your photographer or caterer. You will worry less and have more fun if you leave the work to people accustomed to doing it. From our point of view, it is dangerous to have volunteers in the kitchen, and the quality of the food they may make is highly variable. You want a professional photographer to create the official pictures, as they will be what your children, and theirs, and theirs, will see. When you hire friends & family you are also putting your relationship on the line, which adds needless stress.
Make Decorating an Event in Itself
The people of north Mississippi, on the other hand, always amaze me with their ability to decorate. Ask your friends and family to help you manifest your vision through the decorating. One of the most lovely parts of being in this business for me is seeing the families and friends come together to put the centerpieces in place, position the photographs and the memory and gifts tables just so, and add the many details that make the space uniquely yours. Inevitably people are coming in and out all for the day or two before the big day – consider arranging some refreshments. You may want to make a party of it. Be sure your vision is what is guiding the team, and not theirs. Less really is more. In our case, the venue truly is transformed just simply by putting linens on the tables. You don't really need much more, so don't worry.
Think About Who the Wedding is For
Decisions will be much easier to make if you together determine whether your primary goal is to make yourselves as the bridal couple happy, or whether your main focus is on making your guests – the parents and families, the members of the bridal party, and the guests - happy. Both are good paths, but they are different paths. There is no lack of opinions in the planning process and deciding now will allow you more easily to prioritize the suggestions you receive, including those from us at First & Green.
Decisions Requiring Early Action
Dress, Photographer, Venue, Caterer, Officiant, Florist, Cake Baker, Hotel Block, Music
A Few Thoughts Before Buying a Dress
The dress may be the pacing element, as they CAN involve long lead times. How important is the dress? Only you can decide. It’s easy to spend more than $1,000 on a dress at a bridal store, before the cost of alterations. Dresses can take 6 - 12 months to arrive. Dress shopping should, therefore, be an early priority. Remember, though, that you WILL find a dress. Don’t let the dress stress you out on timeline.
If THE DRESS isn’t of high importance to you, consider a beautiful white bridesmaid dress or a white dress that isn’t marketed as a bridal gown. There are lots of options that usually cost substantially less than an official wedding dress. And of course, everyone will think you are beautiful even if you wear a paper sack. Consider your plan for the dress after the wedding. You may want to ask your dress shop if they offer cleaning or preservation services.
Next, book the photographer, the venue and caterer as they are often booked long in advance. Remarkably, too, the best cake bakers also get heavily committed. Grenada is blessed with many hotel rooms, but if you have a high number of guests traveling, book a block of rooms and be sure you understand if any guarantee is required. Hotels book quickly in some months of the year.
Rehearsal dinner and bridesmaids’ activities can come later, but if you are ready, it is lovely to get all those choices made and behind you. We often have couples hold the ceremony, the reception, and the rehearsal dinner in our collection of spaces, which can reduce cost and decorating required.
Photographer
Choose carefully and review previous wedding work. Getting a seasoned professional is important. Be sure you understand all charges, as the cost of additional images can mount fast. Give the photographer a list of people and combinations you must have, and determine whether you want formal portraits, candid shots, or both, and choose locations with the photographer. Many couples have all their pictures taken in the Grenada Downtown Historic District, as there are several interesting elements to use as backdrops. Often you can get a better price if engagement and wedding photos are both done with the same photographer.
Officiants
Most couples ask their personal pastor, or a friend/family member to marry them. If you have a single special person, check availability before committing yourselves to a date.
Planning the Celebration Schedule
There are many moving parts, but you will want to develop your schedule with reference to the kind of photographs you want. Discuss with your photographer the amounts of time to allow for various sets of photos, the people you want to be sure to include, and the time of day to take them. It may sound odd to suggest that your ceremony and reception be scheduled around your photographer, but you want great pictures of this once in a lifetime set of events, and those photos may depend a great deal on the light available. Short winter days require early photo sessions, while summer days offer more options. Think about this before you create those gorgeous invitations.
Planning the Music – Band or DJ
Bands of course cost more than DJs, but that does not necessarily make them the superior choice. Their roles are subtly different. The band is there to create a buzz about the band, and in doing so, to create a lively and lovely party. The DJ is much better positioned to serve you by reading the energy in the room, mixing songs and pacing with endless choices. In other words, in our experience, the band takes guidance from you regarding the music you want, but it otherwise on its own island during the party. The DJ is directing the flow more actively, with a huge repertoire, and can change anything instantly. Finally, there are some excellent local DJs, but bands will generally need to travel, which adds expense. A DJ can be one of the most critical elements of your day. It’s easy to think “they just play my playlist - right?” NO! The DJ is the master of your party.
If there is a specific version of a song that is important to you make sure you are clear about that with your band or DJ. There are a lot of popular songs with more than one version. If you KNOW your guests will not be a dancing crowd, let your DJ know ahead of time so the DJ isn’t desperately trying to get them on the dance floor all night and feel they are doing a bad job if no one is dancing.
Be Sure Your Choice is Good at Balancing the Sound
Whichever path you choose, the quality of the result depends on their ability to balance the sound properly. Only a small number of DJs and bands really do this, and it makes all the difference in terms of the feeling in the room. You do not want to blast the eardrums of your guests with over amplified music. Loud is fine, as long as it is balanced.
Playlists
Playlists you have chosen together can be really fun. We have seen these work well for the rehearsal dinner or even for the ceremony.
Noise Ordinances
Most small towns, and even cities, have noise ordinances which specify when loud music needs to stop. In Grenada, that is 11:00 pm. Low level music can continue.
RSVPs
Let us acknowledge this – people in this area do not RSVP to invitations. So be sure you are working with a caterer that understands that and is prepared for a variable number of guests. In other parts of the country, folks would not dream of failing to RSVP as they know they will cost the family money if they do not, and it is impolite. Here, RSVP is just a decoration on the invitation. Do your best to estimate the number of guests regardless, as this has an impact not only on food quantity but on floor plan.
Catering Pricing
Check for inclusions. We do not like dealing with caterers other than our own for simple reasons: coordination of service becomes complicated just when it is all important that all go smoothly. Having the venue do the catering is the easiest and least costly route as confusion is kept to a minimum and efforts are not duplicated. Most venues and caterers are pricing based on a standard 4 hour expected event duration. If you want your events to last longer than that, ask about additional labor costs required.
At one recent event, a local restaurant was asked to cater given family ties, but wanted to use our plates and glasses, which was fine. They brought three people, however, and then refused to bus the tables. We as the venue had no choice but to take care of it, though this was clearly not our role. That caterer will not be allowed back into our beloved space. Time and money were wasted, though we don’t think the wedding party had any inkling of difficulty.
Catering Plan
Your caterer will need a schedule of events to time arrival of food, lighting of candles, and so on. As you think about what to serve, keep in mind that the people of North Mississippi are accustomed to standing in line for food, and it is difficult to break them of the habit. Regardless of whether you choose light appetizers and food stations, or a single buffet table, your guests will treat the food as a meal. They will form a line, take a plate, and fill it. Thus, we recommend using the “served buffet” approach, where we will stand behind the buffet and serve each person, which helps the line move along and the food last. Another approach is to have a two-sided buffet so folks can move down both sides.
Service of Alcohol
Alcohol can be a sensitive subject here in the middle of the Bible Belt. While some couples do not serve any alcohol, most elect to serve wine and beer, with selected spirits available on a cash basis. Discuss your family’s views about alcohol with the venue to be sure it is handled in a way that suits everyone at the party. Some people choose to use opaque cups; others keep the bar service and the grandparents separated. There are many ways to do this artfully, not so much hiding the alcohol, but instead being discreet and not rubbing anyone’s nose in it.
Cakes
Wedding cakes are expensive, which can be a real issue when there are two cakes, as is the custom here. Keep in mind that we have only occasionally seen more than one third of the cakes get eaten. You will want, therefore, to check that whoever you choose to craft your cakes will bring a box. We keep boxes on hand, but since we do not know the shape of the cake, they are rarely the correct size. Also be sure that the cake baker will deliver and set up the cake, preferably on a stand that they supply. Check.
Cake Cutting
Ask your caterer if they will help with cutting the cake. Elaborate cakes require a bit of expertise in the cutting and you do not want your cake crushed with the first slice. Some caterers charge extra for this as they need to add labor to do it. At First & Green we do not charge but do want to know in advance if you will need this service so we can plan. A further note: you may want a beautiful engraved cake knife to commemorate the day, but the truth is a big kitchen knife or dental floss work better.
Day of Coordinator
The riskiest thing you can do on your wedding day is fail to identify the person who is able to direct traffic and make decisions. If multiple people think they are in charge, all who are there to serve you receive mixed signals, coordination fails, and tempers fray. This person should not be the bride, groom, or a member of the bridal party. Ideally your chosen person will be onsite all day and have a general idea of your plans. This will be the person we go to first to discuss a decision to move inside due to rain, address a question from your vendors, etc. They DO NOT have to make every decision for you, but they should know you well enough to know when to come ask you a question, and when to just make the decision themselves.
Children
Children add immeasurably to wedding celebrations. They must, however, be kept safe and supervised, as there are many ways in a crowded space for them to get into trouble. Parents want to have fun at the party and their attention is often divided. If you believe there will be a number of children at your events, you may want to designate child minders, or even hire babysitters to help watch out for them.
They can not be left unsupervised, and in no circumstances can go in the kitchen, which can be quite dangerous for them.
Wedding Planner
Most of our brides do not hire a planner. If you do hire a planner you generally have have two options - full planning or day-of coordination. Full planning is often $3,000+ and day-of coordination can be around $1,000+. There can be value in hiring a coordinator to help you review contracts, take the reins at your rehearsal, organize the chaos of the ceremony on your wedding day, and often help with many other wedding day activities. Be sure, however to connect the planner and the venue, as the venue needs a clear sense of whose instructions to follow.
Floral
Many brides in our area do not use florists, opting instead to rely on family and friends to create centerpieces and other arrangements. Some use a mix of seasonal flowers and greenery combined with wood or ceramics, or head for Dollar Tree to find all sorts of fun decorative items at low cost.
To determine where and whether you want a few statement arrangements, consider which areas will be photographed most.
Departure
We often see clients beginning to take apart the beautiful decorations they have created before the party ends. While we hope the bride and groom are not worrying about this, it pays to plan in advance who will remove the decorations, who will move the gifts to the car, who will collect the leftover cake, and who will inspect to be sure that all personal effects have been removed. Almost all weddings we have been privileged to serve have ended by 9:30 pm, which makes taking care of these things that evening feasible. If necessary, we are happy to allow the client to collect certain items the following day, before noon, unless we have another event scheduled. Review these logistics with whatever venue you select.
Establish Your Budget
Determining your budget and estimated Guest Count will be helpful to you later in the planning process and will reduce stress. Include a 10% buffer in your budget for miscellaneous items as something unexpected will likely pop up. Personal expenses such as hair and makeup services, and postage for invitations that are mailed need to be covered, along with perhaps a few hotel rooms for certain guests. Hotels in the area range from $89 - $150 per night.
Transportation for various purposes is not always necessary, but can easily be in the $400 - $1,000 range depending on provider and preferences. Gratuities also need to be considered. Some vendors have a required gratuity amount and for some it is discretionary. Remember to reward good service, as the people who will serve you on your big day are rarely doing it for the money. They work for the joy of it, AND need to earn their crust.
See below our estimates for three levels of budget. Some venues, such as ours, offer gift cards to allow friends and family an easy way to chip in. First & Green takes care of the sections marked in green. Whatever venue you select, be sure to be very specific about who does what.
Range of Typical Costs for North Mississippi Weddings
Category Lower Middle Higher
Dress 500 1200 2500
Cakes 500 750 1000
Transportation 200 400 800
Wedding Party Gifts 200 400 800
Decorations including Flowers 500 1500 2500
Invitations 200 500 1000
Photography 1000 3000 6000
Officiant 100 300 500
Reception Venue 2000 2500 3000
Catering (150 Guests)/Head 22 26 30
Catering Total, with Tax 3597 4251 4905
Linens & Tableware Included with Catering at First & Green
Service Base Charge Included with Catering at First & Green
Bar 500 1000 3000
Bartender (F&G Charge) 150 150 150
Tips (Officiant, Bartender & Servers) 10% 15% 20%
TOTAL 9832 17039 27541
Sample Planning Checklist
§ Complete preliminary search for dress to determine likely time required to complete the dress selection.
§ Book Venue and Caterer for Reception and Rehearsal Dinner (in consultation with groom and groom’s parents)
§ Book Photographer
§ Book DJ or Band
§ Book Cake Baker(s)
§ Book Officiant
§ Identify and invite members to join the wedding party
§ Finalize guest list
§ Set up wedding website [optional but fun and helpful]
Set the tone and style
§ Take engagement photos
§ Create a must-have list of family and wedding party photos for photographer
§ Determine schedule for taking photos
§ Develop schedule for ceremony and reception once photo schedule has been set
§ Send Save The Date cards [Optional]
§ Order invitations
§ Identify hair & makeup professionals and determine if you want trial treatments; schedule
§ Register for gifts
§ Choose flower and centerpiece styles and colors
§ Advise florist of number of bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages needed
§ Confer with florist regarding arrangement types, sizes, and number for ceremony and reception
§ Determine if you want a slide show or photo exhibit at rehearsal dinner or reception and delegate responsibility for creating it to a trusted person who will not drop the ball. Review when done.
§ Complete dress arrangements for Bride and Bridal Party
§ Work with Groom and Groomsmen to arrange their clothing
§ Arrange for transportation, including any special leaving arrangements [Optional]
§ Set Shower and Party Dates
§ Send Invitations
§ Send Shower & Party Thank You Cards
Get Ready for the Celebration
§ Obtain Marriage License at County Courthouse across the street
§ Organize Tips & Recipients
§ Finalize Music Selections
§ Write Vows [Optional]
§ Write letter to each other for First & Green to mail on your first anniversary. [Optional]
§ Determine when decorating will occur, and who will do it.
§ Decide if you want to make an event out of decorating
§ Determine and communicate wedding day responsibilities and identify a “Decision Maker for the Day”; tell venue
§ Determine friend or family member not in the wedding who will line your bridal party up to walk down the aisle.
§ Confirm timeline With venue / vendors / family / Bridal Party
§ Pack all selected “Details” Into box for Photographer (jewelry, shoes, photos, invitation, etc.)
§ Rehearse your ceremony with Wedding Party and parents/grandparents
§ Enjoy a lovely Rehearsal Dinner with toasts and/or a slide show
§ Get a Good Night's Sleep
Enjoy Your Wedding Day
§ Pace yourself.
§ Remember to eat and to keep hydrated.
§ Whatever else you drink, drink plenty of water.
§ Find a few minutes following the ceremony to be by yourselves and bask in the joy.
§ At First & Green, bridal couples are invited to enter (or reenter if ceremony is held with us) following the ceremony via a separate entrance and rest for a bit with a snack while friends and family are assembling downstairs.
§ We provide a snack and beverages of your choice.
§ When you are ready, descend our lovely staircase to be announced as Mr. and Mrs. for the first time.
After the Event
§ Rejoice
§ Send Thank You Cards
§ Write Vendor Reviews
§ Smile a lot.
Key Elements to Schedule on Wedding Day
§ Wedding Party Brunch/Dressing
§ Buffet is set up (venue handles unless outside caterer is involved)
§ Tables are dressed (venue handles unless outside caterer is involved)
§ Cake arrives and is set up
§ Decorations and flowers are set up
§ DJ or band arrives and is set up
§ Photos
§ Ceremony and Order of March
§ Bar Opening
§ Bridal Couple Snack and Private Time
§ Announcement into Reception
§ Blessing
§ Buffet Opening
§ Cake Cutting
§ First Dances
§ Bouquet Toss
§ Fake Leave [Optional]
§ Pack gifts Into car
§ Final Song & Bar Closing
§ Say Goodbyes
§ Your designated team (not you) removes personal and decorative Items
§ Doors close
Vendors We Love
Vendors we have had great experiences with are listed here: Event and Wedding Resources
First & Green Celebrations Information
Information on space and catering and other services at First & Green Celebrations venues can be found here: The Details
Event Planning Guide
If you would like to use our planning system, it will take you through questions about each section of activities you need to decide on, and transmit the information to us. Start here.
Questions?
We love to help. Contact us via voice or text at 662 699 0498 or via email at Laura@FirstandGreenGrenada.com or Deborah at DHB@FirstandGreenGrenada.com.
Laura Williamson Deborah Bailey